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[gotshotgun]

[Sarge is standing around a table conveniently located smack dab between Red and Blue base. don't ask how it got there.

...or how it has streamers considering it's outdoors

all that matters is there's a giant table covered in food and assorted drinks and Sarge is putting the finishing touches on some of the decorations. you'd be surprised how hard it can be to decorate while holding a shotgun, but he manages]

All right you dirtbags, come and get it.

Except Grif. He can keep watch. And no one touch my pie.

[there are seven pies. choose wisely]

Comments

[minione]

Oh, bien. Otra de sus ideas estúpidas. Estoy seguro que esto va a funcionar igual que en los últimos quinientos ideas estúpidas.

[Oh joy. Another stupid plan. Im sure this will work just like the other 500 stupid plans.]

[gotshotgun]

Ah, there you are, Lopez! I know you're excited, but I need you to help make the punch. Just mix this here booze into the juice and we should be set.

[minione]

Sí. Dígale al robot para que vierta el boooze en el jugo. Dicho sea de paso-que dejó el jugo en cajas. Esto es lo más servicial a la hora de verter la bebida en el mismo. realmente.

[Yes. Tell the robot to pour the alcohol into the juice. By the way- you left the juice in the boxes. That is very helpfull when you tell me to pour the alcohol into the juice. Really.]

[gotshotgun]

I know! You can't have a party without some good spiked juice. Liquor makes everything better, I've found. Especially when it ends in me shooting Grif. [wipes a fake tear from his eye] Ah, memories.

Now hop to, Lopez! We've still got candles to light on the cake!

[minione]

¿Podría por lo menos conseguir un recipiente para verter el jugo en primer lugar?

[Could I at least get a bowl to pour the juice into, first?]

[gotshotgun]

Sure thing, but be quick about it! Though to be honest, I didn't know robots needed bathroom breaks.

[runawayandlive]

[Grif lets out a loud hmph] Yeah, well, I didn't want any pie in the first place! The last time you made some, I was sick for a week.

[actually, that might have been because he ate so much and...he just wanted an excuse to not do any work, not that that's not different from the norm.]

[gotshotgun]

It's not my fault your stomach is about as strong as women's lace. Now get out there and patrol.

[runawayandlive]

Patrol where? [gestures allllllllll around them] You set the table up in the middle of the damn canyon! I can see everything from here!

[gotshotgun]

Oh yeah? And can you see inside all those caves on the rockface?

[runawayandlive]

Yes. [a lie, but he knows what are in caves and fuck those caves. he's not going in them] And if any of those assholes want pie, they can come out and fucking get it. So I am going to patrol from right here. [meaning, he'll do nothing]

[gotshotgun]

[and Sarge does what he does best: he levels his shotgun at Grif] I do believe I gave you an order, soldier.

Also I left some creamer back at base. You can pick it up while you're scouting.

[runawayandlive]

[and Sarge is keeping him from doing what he does best--and he isn't surprised in the least]

Fine. [starts walking. slowly.] But I don't know what you want creamer for. We're outta coffee.

[gotshotgun]

No we're not. I've had a stash hidden away for months and made sure no one else told you. Besides, I can use it for some of this frosting I'm finishing up.

[runawayandlive]

[he's kinda silent for a second, trying not to think about all the times he could have used that coffee.]

Come on, Sarge. "Coffee-flavored frosting"?! Who the hell would even like that shit other than caffeine addicts and Starbucks workers?

[don't get him wrong, he likes his coffee, but he likes his frosting as well. and a guy has to have some standards when it comes to the two.]

[gotshotgun]

Who said anything about coffee-flavoured frosting? I just want it to be nice and creamy. What else is creamer supposed to be for?

[runawayandlive]

Coffee. Creamer goes in coffee, as does sugar, milk, and pastries. Or it would if I knew where the damn coffee was!

[gotshotgun]

How fortunate you'll never know where I keep it. [and even if he did, Sarge has it booby trapped]

[pvtmuffinman]

[Donut baked a cake! :D (you probably don't want to ask how.) It's got pink lightish red icing! :D (... probably don't want to know about that either.) And he's going to walk over to the food table and place it in the center. ♥]

This is great!

[Happy Donut is happy!]

[gotshotgun]

For once, I think you and I actually agree on something, Donut. [awww, Sarge sounds almost proud of you] Though you have, uh ... interesting taste in confectionery treats.

[pvtmuffinman]

[Okay, he's practically beaming now~]

What do you mean? Everybody loves cake!

[gotshotgun]

Where'd you get the pink from?

[pvtmuffinman]

Last shipment. [shrug~] They were taking requests! So I got some vanilla, and chocolate, and cream cheese, and some food coloring, and...

[He could probably keep going with this little grocery list of his.]

[gotshotgun]

I don't remember authorizing all those purchases! Though I do like the way the base has smelled lately. You get air fresheners with all that?

[pvtmuffinman]

Hey, you noticed! What do you think? I couldn't decide between clean linen or rain storm, so I asked for both.

[gotshotgun]

The rain storm is quite refreshing!

[volunteeredforthis]

[ Donut may notice a man standing by the table, looking lost.

Well, it's not that he's lost, he knows exactly where he is. It's just that, you know, he doesn't understand why there's a table full of baked goods in the middle of the valley. ]

Hey, Soldier, this is Blood Gulch, right?

[pvtmuffinman]

[Because why shouldn't there be a table full of baked goods in the middle of the valley?]

Of course it is! Are you here for the party?

[The enthusiasm in this one is frickin' contagious, man.]

[volunteeredforthis]

The invitation must have gotten mixed up in the mail.

[ Oh, he'll just roll with it, it's not like he'll deny the chance to have a little fun. ]

Blue Team crashing the party, oh yeah~

[screwedfuture]

[now this...this is...well, he doesn't know what the hell it is. he's been watching the set-up from the top of the Blue base for quite some time now, but once the decorations go up, well, that's when things started getting annoying for him. not that he has anything against decorations themselves, though he does find they bring nothing but trouble simply by existing--so okay, he does have a thing against them, but only because what it does to the people around him. they start to get happy and pester him even more about whether they can go to the party and get even happier and why isn't he happy at the thought of joining them, so fuck that shit. he's not having any of it.

that's why he starts walks right on up to the table--he's pretty sure Grif is on guard duty, so he has no worries about being shot at or anything.]

[starts yelling while he's walking] Hey Red! What the hell is all this?! And what is it doing on our side of the canyon?

woohoo!

[gotshotgun]

[Sarge is just finishing up with some cupcakes when he hears Church]

Your side of the canyon? This is our side of the canyon, you Blue scumbag. And you're not invited!

[screwedfuture]

[makes a derisive sort of noise] Heh, yeah sure. Your side. See that rock over there? [points at it with the end of his sniper rifle] That's our rock, I'm calling dibs. And hey look, since that's our rock, that means it's on our side. So get walking.

...And leave the pie.

[gotshotgun]

That rock is our rock, you blasted Blue.

And you're not getting any pie.

[superbadassspacewarrior]

[It hadnt taken her very long to notice the strange table that Sarge had set up in the middle of the canyon, and she'd went in invisible to investigate. It doesnt seem dangerous...]

[[OOC: Feel free to notice the shimmer that never quite goes away when she does this or something.

[gotshotgun]

[Sarge is singing to himself under his breath, pouring some punch -- and what's that? he could have swooooorn he saw something out of the corner of his eye, but when he looks, he sees nothing]

Huh. All this sun most be messing with me.