boysofeden | Choose your poison

Choose your poison

01. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE Unfortunately, you can't keep lying to your partner/friend/family anymore. You just don't feel the same for them anymore.
02. I WOULD KILL YOU The person who means so much to you has done something completely unforgivable and now it's time to make sure they know where they stand. You would kill them if you ever got the chance.
03. I LOVE YOU, BUT... A bittersweet love confession. You know you love this person more than anything, but you're not sure you can give them what they need.
04. I DON'T TRUST YOU No matter how you feel about this person, you really can't trust them anymore.
05. SACRIFICE You're going to sacrifice yourself, for the person you're talking with or for the good of all humanity. You want them to know the reasons and that there's no stopping you.
06. TROUBLE You're in trouble and you might not make it through. You need to let at least one person know how you feel before it's too late though.
07. BETRAYAL You've betrayed this person and you have to tell them the truth, no more running from it
08. CHEATED You've been unfaithful and it's time to tell your lover.
09. BROKEN That's it. You've had it. You are entirely broken and tired of everything.
10. AFRAID Something has you deathly afraid and you need to talk about it.
11. HELP ME You need someone to help you, bad. You can't do it alone anymore, you've tried.
12. I'M SORRY You said something or did something horrible and now it's time to ask for forgiveness.
13. YOU WERE A MISTAKE Sorry, but whoever you're talking to was the biggest mistake of your life or maybe it was just something you did together.
14. LET'S RUN AWAY You want to just get out, leave everything behind and be with this one person for the rest of your life.
15. ASHAMED Either you're ashamed of something they have done or something you did, either way you need to bring it up.
16. CAN'T REMEMBER The person standing in front of you looks so happy to see you, so relieved, but how do you tell them you can't remember a thing about them?
17. YOUR CHOICE Either choose an option from above, mix and match, or make up your own idea.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sorry.

He'd given the note to a confused and worried Pepper. It was meant for everyone...for his team. His friends. He didn't know who would see it first...Tony, he assumed. But with any luck, Tony wouldn't catch up to him.

What does Fury want me to do, swallow it?

He'd asked Natasha that once, about the Tesseract. But this wasn't the Tesseract. It was a different kind of alien energy source, another thing S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn't control. And it was going to blow the world to hell if they couldn't figure something out in time.

She'd always tried to recruit him for S.H.I.E.L.D. Not just as an Avenger, but as a scientist. As an agent. He'd finally caved and said yes, not realizing his first mission might be his last.

Not that Fury had actually ordered him to swallow it. But he'd put him in charge of finding a way to destroy it, or at least a way to contain the explosion. And he'd already tried smashing it to pieces. He knew what he needed to do.

Bruce took the device to some remote desert location. He took it out of the case, feeling the energy pulsing in his hands. Unlike the Tesseract, it was bright green. He thought that was sort of ironic.

He wasn't allowed to do this.

Natasha stormed out of Stark Tower the moment Pepper handed her the note, ignoring the others as she called into S.H.I.E.L.D. The poor junior agent who answered had a jet coming for her in only a few seconds, not prepared to deal with an honestly angry Black Widow; even Clint couldn't stop her when he got there with the ship.

Fury would have a lot of explaining to do, but that could wait. She didn't have the luxury of time at the moment, and talking with the Director was not going to be a simple affair.

This was her fault, after all. Even if she didn't want to admit it, Banner was only on this mission because of her, and that wasn't allowed. Losing him wasn't allowed.

She just needed to find him in time, what precious little of it was left.

Bruce barely heard the jet approaching, as he was lost in his thoughts. He wondered if this thing could actually kill him. The Other Guy was pretty indestructible...he'd learned that the hard way.

He remembered the time he'd put a bullet in his mouth, and the Other Guy had spit it right back out. But this was different. He didn't have any sort of control back then, and now he did. And he wasn't trying to kill himself...he was trying to save the world. That was something he still seemed to understand, even when he was an enormous green rage monster.

But if it did end his life, he was pretty sure that would only make things easier on everyone else.

He finally realized the jet was approaching as it closed in on his location, and then he let the Other Guy out. No one was going to stop him from doing this.

She landed the jet about a quarter mile from where Bruce showed up on radar. She'd checked out the file on the flight in, seen exactly what it was he was doing. Landing near that could have ended badly for her.

By the time she reached him, it didn't matter though. Bruce wasn't there. Natasha went still the moment she saw him, gripped by terror. He'd fought with them so many times this way, but it never changed that immediate, gut-wrenching reaction.

"Bruce?"

When the Hulk looked at her, it wasn't in anger. There was a hint of something softer...something only Betty had seen from him in this state. Like Bruce really was still in there, trying to reassure her. There had been signs of it when they'd fought together, of course. When he'd saved their lives. But he'd never shown emotion quite like this.

He stepped back from Natasha, creating more distance between them. Then, he swallowed the ball of green energy. And he didn't spit it back out again. Even the Hulk realized this was something he needed to do, as Bruce suspected he would.

He expanded, the blast going off inside him as he screamed in pain. But he didn't burst. He simply crumpled to the ground when it was over, and then he was Bruce again.

Bruce was out cold, and his pulse was weak. But he was still alive.

Edited 2012-06-20 06:41 (UTC)

"Bruce, stop!"

It was a pointless demand, she knew. Even before the words left her lips she knew they were futile. Bruce -- no, the Hulk -- swallowed the energy and for one agonizingly long moment she thought it was the end. Thought she would witness what should be impossible: the death of Bruce Banner.

She'd seen the sadness in his eyes. The humanity. Bruce had expected his own death, too.

Natasha was next to him faster than was advisable, cradling his head in her lap as she looked him over for injuries. "Idiot," she chided, running a hand along his cheek. "You didn't have to do this."

His eyes eventually blinked open, as her touch anchored him into consciousness, and he coughed painfully. A tiny piece of metal fell from his mouth; the remnants of the device that had nearly killed him.

"...Tasha?" he managed, once he realized whose lap his head was so comfortably resting on.

Edited (I am the fail at grammar tonight apparently...) 2012-06-20 07:30 (UTC)

The moment he woke, Natasha's expression flat-lined, anger simmering behind green eyes as she pressed her lips in a flat line. She saw that piece of metal.

"Why?"

"Had to," Bruce replied softly, glancing away. He wasn't sure why she was mad at him. It had worked, hadn't it?

"He told me...if I couldn't destroy it, I had to contain it somehow. I knew what he meant."

Her anger didn't dissipate, that hard line of her mouth growing thinner, even as her hands gently checked him over for any serious damage. The Hulk was strong, but that didn't mean he could always protect Bruce. Not when something ripped his insides apart.

"So you just left."

Bruce nodded, slowly. He was so tired. There actually weren't any internal injuries, miraculously, but he was still sore from the force of the blast that had gone off inside him.

"I knew...I knew someone would try to stop me. Didn't think it would be you," he admitted. "But I'm glad it worked, and I didn't hurt you."

"I almost didn't." She didn't feel like elaborating that it was because she only found out at the last minute. She was too angry and it wasn't worth giving up the information.

Missions are missions, she knew that. She'd taken on some outright suicidal ones in her time. This shouldn't have been any different, and yet it was. Bruce wasn't a spy; he wasn't a warrior; he wasn't a trained agent, not like her, or Barton, or hell, even Phil. Banner was just a scientist she'd roped into joining S.H.I.E.L.D. He was the last person who should have been sent on a mission like this. It didn't matter had it been anyone else Natasha wouldn't have cared. Rationally it was just another job, like all the others. It shouldn't have bothered her, and yet here she was, Bruce's head cradled in her lap while she chewed him out for being an idiot.

She couldn't help feeling a little hypocritical.

Bruce winced, though he wasn't really surprised. Natasha had always been afraid of him...he vaguely wondered if that was part of why she was so angry. Because he was still alive.

But the gentle way she was touching him suggested otherwise. As did the fact that she'd changed her mind about trying to stop him.

"I'm glad you're here, anyway," he murmured, looking up at her again.

She was angry for a lot of different reasons, though his being alive wasn't one of them. Maybe if she looked deep enough, knowing the Hulk was alive would anger her, but never Bruce. She was more angry he hadn't trusted her enough to be upfront about his plans.

Missions were missions. She just had to keep repeating it.

"Don't," she warned, withdrawing her hands, though he was allowed to remain in her lap. "Just don't."

"Don't what?" Bruce asked, feeling a little lost. He didn't understand how he'd failed. He'd done what he was supposed to do. So why was she still angry?

She took a deep breath, staring out over the expanse of island rather than look at him. It was a mission, just like any other. "I wasn't part of this mission. You never expected me to come here. I don't need your platitudes."

Bruce offered her a wry smile, even though she wasn't looking at him. He was starting to understand...suppressing emotions was something he was all too familiar with.

"Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D. really is the right place for me."

"Pull another stunt like this and there won't be a you to belong anywhere." It was as much an empty threat on her part as it was a very real possibility.

Natasha caught his smile out of the corner of her eye. "You could have at least told me. I figured we were beyond notes."

"I'm sorry," Bruce sighed. "I really am. I just...there wasn't time to have a discussion about it. I knew I had to do something soon, or it would be too late." That, and he knew Natasha probably could have talked him out of it if she really wanted to.

She didn't answer immediately, jaw tightened. What he said wasn't a lie, of course. Fury had dropped similar missions on her in the past. Giving someone too much time to think on it ... it was the difference between getting something done and having an agent run off when their brains stopped long enough to process what they were doing. Had their positions been flipped, she wouldn't have even bothered with the note.

It left a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"You didn't plan on coming back." It wasn't a question, and she finally looked at him, a mask of indifference placed carefully across her face.

"No. I thought it might be enough to rip me apart...but I guess you're stuck with me awhile longer." There was something genuinely apologetic in his tone.

She didn't want apologies. Not for this. Natasha narrowed her eyes, anger tugging at the corner of her mouth. A moment later she moved to stand, arms crossed beneath her breasts. She had half a mind to just walk away from him.

"Get up. You need someone to look you over."

Bruce struggled to get up. When he finally managed it, he hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You're still angry with me. But I can't read your mind, Natasha. Maybe Barton can, but I'm new around here. At least tell me why."

He placed his hand on her shoulder and she almost flipped him onto his back, stiffening the moment she sensed him getting near. Natasha exhaled slowly, turning her head to look at him, and she couldn't honestly explain why she was so angry.

"Maybe you shouldn't be around here after all."

But he didn't move. He just frowned, putting all the pieces together. Solving the equation, so to speak.

"Oh," he said, feeling a bit stupid. It wasn't just the fact that he hadn't told her that was upsetting her. And it wasn't the fact that he hadn't died like he thought he might. "I thought you were afraid of me. That you would be relieved, if I wasn't a problem anymore."

here have a small novel. I bet you can't guess which ones I picked.

my heart bb :(

we clearly needed more feels :|

/sobs all over

/holds

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asdfjk you're using my icon |D

because it's bootiful

<3

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